SPAg blog

APPARENTLY, I'M GETTING FAT!

It's all downhill from now on.  I've already got the grey whiskers, the ability to clear a room faster than anyone I know and now I am being told I am getting porky and I am being put on short rations.  It's a dog's life!

Heaven knows I do my bit.  I still entertain by lugging my rubber tyre round the office in case any one is interested in a game of tag.  I never cease to enjoy chewing my own lead (when SHE's not looking) and I can smell tea and biccy time without the need of a clock.

If I'm honest I have noticed that on her running mornings when I've lapped the park with her, it does take a bit more out of me than I remember.  But gracious, what a good sleep I then have for the rest of the day.  Mind you the rain and the long grass combo on Monday resulted in me being tied to kitchen table leg while she dolled herself up - seemingly, my wet body was not welcome in her boudoir!

Wish I could report I had caught a few thiefs or vagabonds but the truth is, even the postman, doesn't seem as suspicious as he once did.   

Well, that's it for now, but just think of me when you are scoffing your daily breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks and I'm expected to keep body and soul together on dinner and a measly snack.  Actually, I think it's a human's life!

POPPYMAN AND NELLIE!

Our new best friend, Poppy Man, has been out and about at the best places over the last few days including a little light shopping with the Christmas crowds in Oxford Street and inspecting the cars at the start of the London to Brighton Vintage Car Rally.  As he was a house guest for the weekend I decided he should not have a day of rest on Sunday so took him off for a spot of tin rattling on Sunday.  With difficulty I tucked him under my arm - rather like a scarlet Worzel Gummidge - and carried him up to a patch of pavement outside Daylesfords - Lady Bamford's upmakarket deli - in Pimlico.  I reckoned it might be rich pickings and it was certainly interesting!  Studiously ignored by too many butgenerously supported by others (one man, a dishy American, put a £20 note in the tin - we poppy collectors like note carriers, much less heavy!)

Meanwhile,  Nellie has taken a particular shine to the boy and even took him for a stroll in the park!

                              

NELLIE IN HER LIMO.....

Lounging like a pro on her journey to the office!

NELLIE'S LATEST (LAMP) POST

Morning all!  Reporting for duty with a stiff gait on account of being very active yesterday in Battersea Park. 

The boss is getting smart, I’ll give her that!  Now she takes two balls and the catapault ball launcher with her when we go walkies.  It has taken her a while to cotton on to the fact that she was never going to bowl for England and if she aimed for something she missed and if she didn’t it would be bullseye where it was least wanted ie like the frisbee straight into the baby’s pram – that created a right old furore! 

Anyway, now with her gadget she can fling the ball almost into the next county and I can tear off after it.  But when I return she is already swinging her arm ready to hurl the next one.  So instead of the unequal tussle we usually have when I won’t let go on the ball in my mouth she now knows that the sight of another ball skyward causes involuntary jaw-slack in me and off I go empty mouthed to do my retrieving.  There is only one slight flaw in this routine – it makes me damn tired in half the time.  Add in a bit of showing off on my part – back and forth over the park railings into the flowerbeds – and I am truly cream crackered.  No wonder the old back is playing up.

Still, only to be expected.  Have been lying stretched out in a sunbeam muttering to myself in my sleep, probably reminiscing about the early stroll round the Duke of York Square in Chelsea when I got to run on the gravel.  Strange thing – gravel – put me down on gravel and I may only just have been in the garden (you know what I mean!) but I immediately have to go again.  And she is never expecting it!  No bag in her pocket (how many times must she be told?) and two security guards watching, laughing and waiting to cause trouble if she tried to pretend it hadn’t happened.  In the end she cadged a paper bag off Patisserie Valerie – rather her than me!!

Update from the Director of Security

Morning all!  Am treading a little tenderly this morning having been newly diagnosed with early arthritis in the rear end. I attended, in the course of my duties as Head of Security and Director of HR, the company ramble on Saturday.

Gazooks, how lazy are some people?!  There I was up and down the hillside checking out the minefields and other natural hazards all the while my staff were having a casual wander and chat.  Don't they know this would never be allowed in the Forces - thank heavens that I never slack in my duties.

In spite of the pesky arthritis, I am pretty damn fit after doing my usual three mile early morning run every other morning with the company CEO.  But why or why does she insist on taunting me by making me endure the squirrel infested landscape of Kensington Gardens (I will get one some day!) but I do get my own back - one poop and scoop is always factored in, but never the follow up.  Ah... The fun I have watching her try and poop a scoop with a tissue or a couple of leaves because she only thought to bring one plastic bag!

Still, can't hang around chatting - work to do.  Must take up my sentry position on the landing and keep a look out on the park.